[While it's notable that, in that moment, when she's relying on that buried instinct to carry her through this, to make sure that she doesn't lose her nerve and tells him the whole thing, she doesn't feel any need to back down to his response, that's not the point. The point is that it's something she has to use, a means to an end, because of course he would think it was romantic.]

It's not romantic! It's selfish! I don't want it to be 'maybe, statistically'! I don't want to be common to you! I don't want everyone to always be able to have you and take you away from me, either! I want to be special!

[Even if it was something as stupid and petty as being considered the most durable, or having some stupid idyllic house that encapsulated a lifestyle he'd never want, or getting him to leave the whole pack and family he put his all into just so that he wouldn't have a reason to think of anyone but her ... That's pretty fucked up. That's not anything wrong with him, or anything he's doing. That's Nariko not feeling like a good enough excuse of a person, and trying to fix it.

And making her soulmate feel like shit in the process. She knew that.]

But I know I am! You wouldn't have gone through all that effort for this trip if I wasn't! You wouldn't put up with me for nearly twenty years if I wasn't! I'm just -- [Thank god she's not facing him right now.] I'm just a fucking mess. A pathetic, rich-bitch, mess.

[And the problem here is that she's always been one, there's an incredible likelihood that he knows that, in some form or another. But she's tried to keep all this self-doubt and loathing to herself all the same. It wasn't what he signed up for and, really, if not for all the physical torture he'd just run her through she wouldn't have been so honest. ... And awkwardly enough her scent hasn't shifted a bit. They really should have just kept having sex, man. Would have been simpler.]