[She trails her eyes to her knees, trying to think of the right way to say it. Since Masaomi's been gone for so long she's had a lot of time to think about how this actually works in real time. So while she really had avoided him while he was healing because of their insane chemistry it had served an experimental purpose as well: What would happen to her if she spent more time with Yamato and gave him more attention? What would happen to her chemistry? A mateship was a biological phenomena, after all, one way or another it would change under various forms of stress.]
I'm happy, but I'm not euphoric.
[And there's something wrong with that because she was overjoyed for the first three kids. Stupid and giddy with the pure, undeniable reality that she was pregnant with her mates child. Hell, her desire to nest and practically shower people with unending affection had only increased.] I feel like I've skipped a step, and I wouldn't want to avoid this one either, but it just ... Feels like you should have come first. That's the only way I can describe it.
[It's an incredibly specific emotion: Still being happy to have Yamato's child, while also still feeling as if her first mate should have gotten it first (even though he already had. Three times over.).]
no subject
[She trails her eyes to her knees, trying to think of the right way to say it. Since Masaomi's been gone for so long she's had a lot of time to think about how this actually works in real time. So while she really had avoided him while he was healing because of their insane chemistry it had served an experimental purpose as well: What would happen to her if she spent more time with Yamato and gave him more attention? What would happen to her chemistry? A mateship was a biological phenomena, after all, one way or another it would change under various forms of stress.]
I'm happy, but I'm not euphoric.
[And there's something wrong with that because she was overjoyed for the first three kids. Stupid and giddy with the pure, undeniable reality that she was pregnant with her mates child. Hell, her desire to nest and practically shower people with unending affection had only increased.] I feel like I've skipped a step, and I wouldn't want to avoid this one either, but it just ... Feels like you should have come first. That's the only way I can describe it.
[It's an incredibly specific emotion: Still being happy to have Yamato's child, while also still feeling as if her first mate should have gotten it first (even though he already had. Three times over.).]