masanari | [Futurelandia] An Eventful Valentines and beyond (happy new year)

[ But Mom---

Not really though. The man sighs, hanging his head again and knowing he's letting out too much scent now. He can't evn hold it, particularly after being told that he -- apparently!! -- never even fucking had to in the first place. The man groans, and he shakes his head, looking down at the the little coffee table between them. He should have sat on the couch next to her. But no, that would be awkward. ]

I always wanted to be more mature and be helpful to you or more together or something. But I've really never, never been able to.

[ Including now, he means.

Ugh. ]

[He doesn't have to hold back anything but she certainly does. There's no sense in reacting until he can give her a concrete, defined answer, so no matter where he sits she's going to stay where she is and keep one leg folded over the other.]

It's not as if you needed to be. [She was, by nature, an incredibly dominating person without someone reigning her in consciously or subconsciously.] If you want to be, then that's up to you.

[What else can she say? He's old enough to be what he wants, after all.]

If only. I'm still not sure it's really in my nature, because I still use those fucking pills and they still make me feel special. Sure it's a better supplier, a better model of them, but it's not like that wasn't the kink Irina and I were using all the time and it felt good.

[ And yet. ]

I'm so glad to have a family I wanted a family I still do want a family.

[ That was so incoherent and he knows it. He puts his face in his hands, because right now he's both pitying himself and justifying himself. Really, he's making a mess of it - nowhere near the controlled sort of person he wanted to be in the first place and could present himself as being at the best of times. It's true that Nariko might have pushed him away, but it's not like he wouldn't have imploded even if she didn't. He was something now, even if he didn't feel like it sometimes.

But then, he was conditioned to think all he could do was fail. He was raised that way, after all. ]

[This is incredibly incoherent so, again, she doesn't really know what to say. Of course some of it has to do with the mention of those pills and the fact that she doesn't know how to deal with that at all. It's even more difficult to wrap her head around the fact that Irina was apparently perfectly fine with taking it for him.]

You know if there's some reason you can't have a family then it's completely beyond me.

[At this point she's just saying the first thing that comes to mind, otherwise she's going to sit here and be confused, and go back to thinking that he was wrong, and there was no way that he could or should have any sort of interest in her.]

[ He...

He needs to stop. He inhales deep, through his mouth, trying to prevent his lungs from failing on him as he scrambles to make sense of the world. The man is way, way too old for this, and they both know it. He runs his hand once more down his face and finally... ]

Especially because you're here and your family just walked out. I'm not sure I'm cut out to serve under Masaomi but I want to be a part of your life and the lives of the three kids and even him too so... so yeah, there's no reason. So -

[ . . . ] I don't want to hurt that.

[Well, that's easier ground to stand on, if nothing else.]

I wouldn't let anything hurt it to begin with. [Now that things are evened out, now that they all know where they each stand, for as strange as it is? Nariko won't let go of it, and that's something to pay for much later on.]

There's a way to make it work without anyone suffering or feeling uncomfortable. There are parts that will take time, but it's nothing compared to being separated for over a decade.

[Masaomi really does have to feel comfortable with Nathan, after all, Nariko wouldn't ask him to suck that up, so Nathan would have to face that one way or another, but -]

[ . . . But all the same, he can't - he can't say that he's innocent in all this. He can't say that he was someone who looked at things in a way which was right by most people's standard. But maybe it was normal for them. Nathan hangs his head and... ]

I love you, Nariko. I don't think I love you right.

[ But was that just their Mother's Right? After all... ] and I'm looking forward to fitting in here.

It's not really a question of whether it's right or not.

[But he wanted to fit in here. He wanted to have some working relationship with Masaomi. It wasn't ... Right of her to end up sabotaging that. She rubs the back of her neck, finds the strength to get up from the couch to walk over to him and lift his hand, pushing his hair out of the way so she could kiss his forehead. It's an incredibly old gesture, something she'd done to him since the very day he was born.]

I love you, too, but stop worrying about it for now. It's enough for you to be here.

[In the end, it seems like the original decision was the right one, albeit for completely different reasons, so what's the use in going around in circles about it?]

[ Nathan feels ashamed to have brought them to this point. What did they intend to do in the first place...? He doesn't know. But he knows that he looks up and is wide-eyed as he feels her pressing her lips to his forehead. And he reaches out now to brush his hands over th back of his neck, running his hands through her hair, gently, coaxing --

He wants to ...

He wants a lot. ]

It's... true. [ . . . ] I guess it really doesn't matter right now.

[If two people loved each other and were as incredibly incapable of letting go of one another as both she and Nathan were then it stood to reason that something might happen, right? Or, in the end, it was probably just what she had wanted even if she couldn't quite voice it out loud. In December it had seemed like the issue was her family, but apparently she'd gotten that wrong. Or something.

Who knows, man, she's literally upset at not being able to bang her own little brother so, really, this is not a Sanity Parade in the least. Especially not when hearing him agree nearly kills her.]

Well, come on. We were here all day but we didn't get much of your room set up for obvious reasons.

[It's still rather early but Nathan's been a mess since he got here so of course she figures he just needs to sleep. Tomorrow they'll go back to pretending nothing meaningful at all was said.]

[ So did she...?

Did he?

That said, he does stand, maybe even leaning on her a little as he does, because being lead to his room does seem like the right thing to do now. It didn't matter about their histories or whatever things both of them were hung up now, right? They just needed to connect and they needed to reconnect and they needed to figure out what they meant to each other in light of her family and this new world he had entered into.

He was a mess.

He still wanted to shove those pills in his bathroom down her throat. But he knows that wouldn't produce the reality he wants, it wouldn't be the loving embrace... ]

Yeah, let's use it.

[ And he sounds ... a little excited. ]

[She doesn't think anything of being leaned on, though his apparent excitement about getting his bed set up is a little weird. Nariko doesn't question it too much since she'd probably sooner throw half her closet at Masaomi before he was allowed to take her pillow. People have little oddities about them!

Considering that she decorated most of this house it's no real surprise that she knows which room is his, or that she knows which box has the sheets in them, either.]

... I don't even know what your favorite color is anymore.

[But she'd picked a blue and white set all the same, one thousand thread count sheets, pillows covers, a matching comforter - the whole thing.] Well, you can always change it if you want to. The guest rooms are kind of similar, just different colors.

[And since she'd be sleeping over that would need arranging too, but one step at a time.]

[ His favorite color, huh? Well, that's of course something more like, ] It's blue, still. It's pretty much always been blue, of course.

[ That said...

Once they're in the room, he looks hard at her, and then he shifts his position to be up in front of her. Once they're face to face, he doesn't hesitate - he brushes back some of her hair and leans forward to lock lips with her. He's not really thinking right now, and in all honesty he was barely even listening to her. He just was doing, following the deep instinct that he wanted to follow. His scent was already going nuts and if it didn't matter-

He loved her. ]

Mm.

[But people changed, right? It was only natural for some stuff to move around as you got older and saw more of the world - that went doubly for Nathan because, as he'd said, he had seen far more of the world at large than her. She looked up at him when he came near her, overwhelming her with his scent and ... Well, apparently also kissing her.

Didn't she just tell him not to worry about this? To not deal with it? And now he was - he -- ... Fuck it. Nariko let get of herself and weathered through the vague scent of repression until her own scent rang clear, she put her arms around and kissed him back, pressing in so close that she might force him to stumble.

Seriously, fuck all the logic of it, this was so, so much easier.]

[ He is forced to stumble - he's pulled in by her scent and more than a little bit addicted to it. He shoots his own out, trying to answer her as he rings true. His lips part a bit, and he works his tongue out. He leans further in, running his hands down her sides and up into her hair. She feels so soft against him - she feels so warm against him-

Fuck.

Fuck he wants to feel her ]

[There's nothing stopping him now!

Apparently they're just going to do whatever they want and go for it and that feels perfectly fine, so they might as well go all in here. It's the combination of the events, the history, as well as good old fashioned hormones that make her feel more desperate than she might usually be, her lips part and their tongues meet, and she gets a hand up his shirt and along his spine, just so she has some way to feel him and know it's not a pregnant-lust induced dream.]

[ Nathan has no way of knowing, no way of even imagining that this isn't a dream. Everything he's felt and wished for for years and years was something like this - maybe something more romantic or maybe even something more fetishy in his darker moments, but the fact is that even as h feels his tongue meet her own, even as he runs his hands down her back, and he too tries to slide his hands up her shirt he's not even sure if this is real or what he imagined. It's strange though, and it must be stranger still to her - she's so much older now, fuller, a much more rounded woman. He knows he's changed a lot, he's much taller, much more broad shouldered...

And it's of all things her tongue piercing that reminds him that no, she's not his fantasy Nariko.

Hell, even if she had covered some of her tattoos, the others would be out soon. This was reality, for all the flaws or goos things in it ]

[No, this wasn't a fantasy version of her at all. There were the tattoos and the piercings, of course, and some of the self doubt remained, too. But they were both incredibly different people with more control, more influence over their own decisions, right? Maybe she wasn't a figment of his imagination but the real Nariko was the one that wanted him, so maybe that counted for something.

Or, hell, maybe not! Maybe they would crash and burn halfway through, but when he pulled at her blouse Nariko was quick to pull away and shove it up and over her head, throwing it out of the way, pulling him back to his halfway made bed by the hem of his pants.

Nathan's definitely changed a lot but the idea of exploring all of that, getting to know him as he was now? For her, that was exciting.]

[ He can't even begin to predict that far in the future. He's altogether pretty sure that he's going to wake up any moment now. As such, he eagerly allows himself to have her pull at his pants, to get his own shirt off, and smile as she pulls up and over her blouse. And he-

He slides his hands up and around to grab her tits.

Who would help him, even as he's pulled onto the bed, he wants to feel them, he wants to get to know her better but they're right there and in his face now as her top is off ]

[Her bra is still in the way but she makes a vaguely happy, almost oddly choked noise all the same. It's nuts, it's completely insane that he's touching her and she doesn't feel guilty or awful, irredeemable or filthy. Even if the reaction itself might be confusing there's a smile on her face as she ends up on his bed.]

I ...

[There are five thousand different things she could say right now but it's easier to deal with his belt. The best way to prove that this wasn't a dream was to suck him off, right? ... That generally solved most of her concerns.]

[ The more obvious issue with that plan is that it doesn't cover his mouth. And it really might be a good idea to cover Nathan's mouth, all things considered. That said, in this moment, he doesn't have words, just a dry sense of importance and amazement with what she's doing, with what his hands have just felt, and that he's on his back on the bed, shifting so that he's sitting up and leaning on his hands - the belt undoes to make the tenting of his pants more obvious. His dick is hard already, his scent going everywhere in the room.

Because, of course, it's Nariko.

But she...? ]

[Because it's her but, honestly, if there was one person with whom she couldn't maintain her usual confidence than it was Nathan. From her perspective that seemed like the most obvious thing in the world. It's not an issue that's completely dealt with, it just doesn't get in the way of a skill she's had nearly all of her life.

She tugs at his pants, boxers, anything in the way and as long as it all gets down and out of the way she doesn't care, and she doesn't care about any vague hint of repression in his scent, either, if it still remains. No matter what she might have wanted to say or express to him she swallows it and his cock in the same instant.

This took more than twenty years, she's not waiting another second.]

[ Nathan needs to be silenced, because given the freedom to say anything, he's going to say something really stupid or really --

Oh my God she was doing this, this was really happening. And while this might more or less be natural instinct to her, to Nathan it's something that was new, different, something that he hadn't experienced in years (from her) and may have never experienced. With how many times he had replayed that drugged out night in his mind and for how much he held that thing up to become his primary fetish, the actual details of the acts they did have become blurred, because he can't be sure what was fact and what's fiction he's made since then. So when he feels her lips surrounding it and when his cock is pushed almost immediately to the back of his throat (even if as compared to her mates she's quite average on the whole) it-

He--

... He actually starts to cry a little. It's so amazing, so beautiful, so - so hot. ]

[This is beyond a natural instinct, it's like a fabric of her very being, and as such, there are very few things in life which would force her to stop blowing a dude once she's started. Mostly because Nariko doesn't like to be interrupted, but when she looks up and he's so glassy eyed it's - Look, that's just really worrying.]

Nathan ...

[Is he okay? This would be an awful moment to stop touching him so she's not just staring at him, she keeps her hand moving rather quickly which doesn't fit her concern.]

I'm so... glad.

[ He really, really should talk. He really, really doesn't want to talk.

... But he does, apparently, have to sob. And so he does sob, wiping his tears with the back of his hand, but also - given how hard his dick is - needing her to keep going. He swallows it, trying to pretend like his reaction is normal even though he knows he isn't projecting that. ]

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The convention is over plane time today wee

whoo! Hope it was a good trip! Sorry I was late getting back

It was really great honestly and glad to see u back. I might be a little sick? We'll see