masanari | [Futurelandia] The Thanksgiving and Early December Post

[Futurelandia] The Thanksgiving and Early December Post

[ It's been around a month since everything started to change. And frankly, a damn sure more things have changed even in that month. There's simplistic ones, such as Masaomi getting a vasectomy which even if he tried to keep it on the downlow, everyone found out about because of what a whiner he was for his week of medical abstinence and everyone felt after that for how he proceeded to fuck every relevant woman in the house and who would sleep with him out of the house into submission for the next two or three days. Everyone sort of had a rude awakening there.

But then, some changes were bigger and more serious. A new member joined there pack (Veroncia) not all that long ago, and it was much to everyone except some of the adult's surprise. Everyone had to learn their new pecking order and where she fit in with the rest of them. Masaomi and Nariko continued their rituals and continued their seeing other people, to mixed results from both. Audrey was hanging around the house more, though she hadn't had the recommended Talk with Masaomi about joining, despite making this something of a second home for her. And of course, Junko's training continued despite the week long hiatus from it.

Everyone was changing, and everyone was adapting. Yamato even had a sexy car now. And at the culmination of everything, a sort of milestone in the midst of everything, there was Thanksgiving, the lead up to it, and the follow up after it leading into December. A time when a lot of people hung out in one house, and then things got weirdly tense for a variety of reasons. God bess us, every one. ]

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[She waits for a very specific day, December 3rd. That's when she decides to wait for Masaomi at the front door so that she's the first person he sees when he comes back from work. By now Audrey's got most of the pack's schedule down pat so she lines herself in the foyer nearest to the front door and waits. If there was any day for Masaomi to avoid wasting an extra few hours with someone or the other then it would be today.

Because when he comes through the door he'll find her in a nice, rather modest blue dress, her hair done and make-up set. All of it makes her look a few years older, and far more dignified than she's been around this house. And when he comes through she beams, and looks her age again, but it can be a dissonant sort of image.]

Welcome back! [But she doesn't waste any time, because Nariko's home today so she might try to grab her mate before Audrey can, so-] I need to speak with you about joining the pack.

[She's not playing around today.]

[ Fortunately or unfortunately, he's more or less right on time today. No one around for him to make a target out of other than flirting a little bit with someone on the way home. Or well, trying to. He doesn't think he pulled it off, really. Either way, Masaomi comes in, sees her, blinks at her attire and- ]

Oh. [ Wait- ] Oh! ... Of course, come on then.

[ and he rolls his shoulders forward. She had been at their thanksgiving and had been hanging around all month. He suspected this was coming, but he didn't quite know when. He's mildly surprised to get it out of the blue, but either way the older man leans forward, smiles, and after kicking off his shoes and takes the blonde's hand and leads her towards the stairs. They're going up to the fifth floor, where he set up the little interrogation room he'd used with Ada decades ago. It's been fixed up since, so it's at least got a comfy chair, but the set up is still deliberately spartan.

Once they get there, it'll be two chairs across a table form each other with one overhead fan light and a window opening up onto the backyard. This room was probably intended to be some sort of an upstairs laundry room given it's layout ]

[She's a little surprised when he takes her hand but the contact itself doesn't bother her. She holds his hand back, feeling an awful lot like a child again, forced into her Sunday best, and that's enough to make her smile and kind of awkwardly tear up. Thankfully she's controlled it by the time they get to where they need to be and - man, she still can't get over how many floors this place has. How do they all even know where half of anything is?

But in that room she takes a look around, finds the chair that seems most likely to be meant for her, and sits.]

So how does this go, anyway? No one really told me about the very beginning.

[Ada had mentioned little facts here and there, and so had Tom after they'd had sex and Audrey had been brave enough to ask.]

[ Masaomi closes and locks the door behind them, taking the seat which faces its back to the window, and therefore faces the door. He folds his hands together, smiling to her in a welcoming, sort of proud way. He wonders, has always wondered, if she's pack material or not. And today, he'll get to see if she befits them once and for all. ]

However you want, actually. I've always let the other party start.

[ Except for Ada, who was more than a little bit too depressed to manage it at the time ]

Huh. [She tilts her head then, looking both appreciative of the tactic as well as somewhat judging.] Not a bad idea. It forces people to consider how they might present themselves, and you can judge what they don't realize they're showing. [She might respect him a little more for that approach. But it does leave her in an interesting situation - How does she start? Where does she begin?]

At Thanksgiving Yamato seemed really surprised that I didn't want to sleep with you. I thought that was kind of funny, to be honest, and I said that it had to do with you being his dad, with being an authority figure. I've never really liked situations where the stakes aren't even, so you can imagine how upset I've been with most of life. Nothing is ever really fair, and if there is some way that everything balances out through religion or karma or whatever, well, it's too big for me to witness. I hate it.

[This is ... A completely different side to her. She's been herself in the house but only Junko has seen the parts of Audrey that are down to Earth, so logical that it could be frustrating, so emotional she could be confusing.] But when I think about it, that wasn't actually the case. First of all, you're really hot. If Ms. Lunae didn't scare me I'd probably give it a shot, but frankly I value my innards. [She can't help grinning at that, but pushes back on curled bit of blonde hair to get back on track.]

I feel that way about it because one of the things I've deeply appreciated is that it hasn't been like that with you. I never get a break from hearing about how smart I am, so why am do I like sex so much? Or, 'you're so pretty, why do you want to actually go to school'? I can't win no matter what I do, and no matter how hard I try. I'd already been friends with Junko for a year by the time I just gave up. At some point you have to cut your losses.

[She looks up at the ceiling, mostly just to put her words together.] And the simple fact of the matter is that I don't think even you or Yamato or Ms. Lunae or any Alpha anywhere can be entirely fair. If you want to say that we as human beings are biologically destined to multiple relationships, to existing as a cohesive group rather than singular pairs, then I also think it's only fair to admit that as humans we have times where we favor one person or ideal or desire over another. To try and deny that works against everything, but to admit it helps make everything uneven, too.

[Which brings her back to her incredibly long-winded point.] If there's one thing that I love about this pack and this house, for all of its intricacies and all the things I don't understand, it's that you try. Everyone is honest to the best of their abilities, everyone works hard in their own way, in that sense this is its own utopia. It's because I've been here for the last few weeks that I don't really want to give up on anything anymore. Not on being happy, not on eventually having a good relationship with my parents, and not on myself. Before anything else, Mr. Kida, I have to thank you for that.

[ This was a side of her he didn't expect, one he didn't (couldn't) have known existed. The Alpha doesn't give anything away to her initial quip, because... really, she's right. The fact of the matter is that by letting someone get the first word in, they reveal so much of who they are, without even noticing it. Tom, because he began with talking about his childhood, revealed his uncertainty about his future. Sully revealed however accidentally that he didn't think he belonged anywhere. Octavio revealed that he wanted to be somewhere he didn't need to feel phony. Emily revealed that she needed some chaos to center herself, because she was so ordered to begin with. And now Audrey...

He listens to her astutely. And when she finishes, ]

You're right, it's entirely impossible to be completely fair. It's precisely why humans, as social animals are destined to have many relationships, both sexual and non-sexual. There's an element to all of them which is important, because no one can fulfill absolutely everything to someone, even if there are people you can't survive without. It's contradictory, when you think of it like that. And because we're unfulfilled in some way or another inevitably, people act out to either try and fulfill themselves are the expense of others or out of frustration for that failure of fulfillment. It's all the more reason that people being honest and trying to communicate provides our greatest chance at happiness.

[ He closes his eyes and opens them, and then deepens his voice, releasing some of his scent and uses Alpha Voice, largely to see how she reacts ]

And it's also why people respond to the judgement imposed by an Alpha.

[ The Alpha is the counterbalance to uncertainty. Truthfully, the Alpha is as human as everyone else, still very fallible. But the trick is that they assume the burden of certainty, acting as the final say in matters in order to serve as the lynchpin upon which as community can be built, to prioritize things for people at both a structural and, if needed, individual level. ]

[She physically buckles to that but, just as she'd said, there's no immediate arousal on her end, but there's no fear or resistance, either. She's accepting of it and though Audrey herself can't quite realize it she very obviously relaxes in a way that only occurs when she's left completely alone.]

But, see, that's where you and I probably won't ever agree. If this life is made up on following people just because biology decided they were Alphas or official lawmakers then frankly I don't want to be in it. To me that's just not a world worth living in, and I'd gratefully die and be reborn into something else to know a different one.

[It's the kind of rhetoric that might seem needlessly dramatic, especially from a young woman her age, but Audrey's being entirely serious. It's what she believes and while maybe that belief is influenced by her age and her upset with certain issues she'll hold onto that fiercely. If she'll change or temper out then it has to happen on her own time.] I think there are as many people who are genuinely fulfilled by one person as there are people need to be fulfilled by multiple people. The one thing I've always been cautious of when it comes to packs is the need to push people into categories. There are many different kinds of people in the world as there are chemicals and possibilities, and that's the kind of world that I like.

[She looks down at her hands, and adds,] I feel like admitting that is going to lessen my chances here, and that's a little terrifying. I might not agree with some of your concepts but making honesty and clarity a defining ideal is something I can always accept. I can fight for that because I think a lot of things would be easier if people could just speak freely.

[When Audrey looks up at him she's nervous from her eyes to her bones to the cells lurking in every single inch of her body.] So what I have to say, what I have to be honest about is that there are things that you and I disagree on but I don't believe that would make me any less valuable. If this is something that becomes a reality then it becomes that because I was honest enough to choose it. I don't want to be lorded over, I don't want to lose the parts of myself that are determined and inquisitive. But I also want to belong, and it feels like I can do that here. It feels like home, even if I won't ever have what I thought I wanted with Yamato.

[ Bold, that's very bold of her. And really, in this context, he didn't expect arousal. Not really. It would have been odd if she did, or at least if that was her first reaction. Still, what was her first reaction was interesting.

... She's completely wrong, of course, that there are people entirely fulfilled with one person. Even the most wildly compatible mates (even himself and Nariko) needed other people in their lives. Friends, other family members. And in his case, it took way too long for him to recognize that fact, but he also can't knock it. But Audrey was also young, particularly if she was conflating Alphas with lawmakers (even if a lot of the most successful politicians were Alphas, but details) ]

Why do you call her Ms. Lunae? Or Mrs. Lunae, I've heard both from your tongue.

[ It might seem wildly off topic, but that was how a conversation him tended to go ]

[That in and of itself is a misunderstanding, then, because she's speaking in a purely romantic context - that there were some people who found their mates and didn't need to open their intimate relationships further. Obviously people needed outside stimuli such as family and even enemies. But he was definitely right that she did put Alphas a little higher than she should - it goes back to her issues with authority figures and such.

His question, though-]

Because that's her legal name.

[Her shoulders lift and fall.] You have three kids, multiple cars, and a house together but she's still kept her maiden name. If she wanted to change her name to yours she could have by now, common law marriage is a thing. But she hasn't, so it feels a little weird, and maybe too familiar, to use your name when it's only that until she decides it isn't.

[In other words, Audrey did it out of a sense of respect: Obviously Nariko and Masaomi were mates but for the woman to not take her mate's name after this long set off some alarms with the girl. To her it just made more sense and seemed better all around.]

Mmm. That's a different way to look at it, honestly. [ He smiles, a little bit too impishly then. ] Because, unless I'm very wrong about her, I'm pretty sure the only reason she's never legally changed her name is because of my own selfishness. Just as you've got you ideology you've staked you life on, I've married myself utterly to the pack mentality and the pack lifestyle. An officiation of marriage, even where it logically should happen, stand in opposition to that.

[ and he lowers his gaze then, even if the smile remains ] But you're also right that it's maybe it's just stubbornness on both of our parts.

[ He tilts his head, and he holds up a finger ]

I don't refute your ideals, Audrey, but I would like to correct something. Are you willing to allow me that?

Edited 2015-12-14 07:45 (UTC)

[She definitely has to keep her mouth shut on that because ... The person he's been with isn't wholly dedicated to the pack mentality, is she? And to keep her maiden last name even though it could be legally changed without a marriage to go along with it was ... Well, Audrey can't help thinking that was an incredibly deliberate move on Nariko's part. What that move was or what agenda it played to was certainly beyond her, but such a traditional person would never do, or avoid doing something, for no reason.]

Obviously.

[She'd never object to such a thing, so it was almost useless to ask.]

Your speech, it's utterly misinterpreted the Alpha's role in society.

[ And he's watching her body language now. She was holding something back there. But that was something personal no doubt, and he won't hold that against her. Still, he leans back in the chair and smiles, gesturing to the window as he explains ]

People don't follow an Alpha because that Alpha's making a decision for them, that Alpha isn't there to restrict them, and it's certainly not there to quash the parts of themselves that they value. No, an Alpha exists in order to give form to the chaos of peoples own conflicting parts of themselves. The Alpha is there in order to allow people to be more of themselves. The Alpha defines the ethos that people unite under, and the Alpha is responsible for the space that those people inhabit, both physically and emotionally.

And because of that, it's probably more accurate to say that the Alpha ensures their freedom. Their freedom to be and think and do whatever they want, the Alpha makes sure that no outside force, to the best of their ability, can damage that. But at the same time, the Alpha is there to ensure that that same freedom they enjoy doesn't damage the freedoms that are enjoyed by their packmates.

[ And he claps his hands together ]

Or at least, that is what my position is. I am a facilitator, not a jailer.

[ He knows, of course, those pure ideals are not universal. There are as many ways that an "Alpha" can operate as there are people who claim the title. But those are the ones he operates under, and that is the heavy responsibility he's put upon himself. Because, obviously, the logical outcome of that reasoning is that in a pack, the Alpha is the least free person. The one most bound by the chains of responsibility. ]

Edited 2015-12-14 08:00 (UTC)

[Hearing that explanation ... Leads her to that conclusion, yeah. If he's so busy working for other people and takes that on with the fervency that she sees in his eyes then it's really no wonder that his personal relationship has to be open. It's a lot of responsibility for one person, and it's a lot to ask one person to bear in the romantic sense. But that's really none of her business, so she puts that aside.]

But it's true that different packs operate on different ideals, right? [She tries to restrain the desire to shudder.] I think a lot of the confusion has to do with how our parents teach us about pack's, and the only other one I met wasn't ... It wasn't anything like yours.

[It was an unpleasant combination of being raised against the concept as a whole, and having a bad run in with pack members that were entirely separate of the Kidas.] It's because I can accept your view of an alpha that I want to join.

[She leans back in her seat and then sighs, looking at him long and hard, narrowing her eyes and ...] ... Goddammit, now I do kind of want to sleep with you. But you're, like, exactly the same age as my dad.

[Not that her dad was weird or gross or whatever he was just. Her dad. That was all.]

Mmmm. Is that a problem for you?

[ It's a bit of a eyebrow arch from him. He's not- it's not like he wants her too specifically, he's just feeling the woman out. He doesn't disagree with her. It's true other people operate under different ethos. But he would hope most of them hold something like that in their hearts ]

Kind of? I don't know, man. [At least she doesn't experience the same weird mental blackout when she tries to think about it now.]

I guess it's just kind of weird to think that you and my dad, the guy that helped make me, could have been weird friends or something. God knows you're both about as weird as each other.

[She waves a hand.] Aren't we getting off track? If there's something else you want to know then I'm sure you know you can ask and all that.

[... She already wants to know the decision, that's what it is ...]

Eeeh. You'd think so, but really, I'm learning all sorts of invaluable things about you, Audrey.

[ He looks behind him at the window, smiling a little. The sun's already set... the sun sets so early these days. Still, he turns back to her with a pleasant expression and he leans forward a little ]

I'm not sure I've met your father, though. [ A beat, and - ] You've been hanging around longer than most though, this isn't strictly a necessary question, but how's your relationship with the others in the pack, in your eyes?

[ But by saying it's not necessary... well, he's leading her answer. Or perhaps it's leading to make her think he's leading. Could be both. ]

I don't think I realized that you would want to know much of anything about me.

[She'll actually have to leave soon enough. If she gets there too late it'll just mean more yelling and Audrey's had about enough of that. That question is pretty interesting, though. And as far as what tactic he's using ... Sometimes it's better to just stick with honesty rather than overthink it.]

I think it's positive all around. There isn't anyone I disagree with or have an issue with.

[She didn't have trouble making friends with people but it had been easy with everyone. Even Ms. Lunae, who was kind of intimidating, didn't seem to have any real issue with her and the little tiff they'd had was easily solved.]

Any standouts, or stand out moments? After all, you came in closest to Junko and Yamato.

[ He hums. Honestly, he's not taken in time as a factor. If she pointed it out directly, he might be more considerate of it. The fact of the matter is that with these sorts of discussions, he doesn't mind seemingly wasting time because... well, he does want to know about the people who he is to be the Alpha of. ]

Well, I'd have to say essentially 'breaking up' with Yamato was definitely a moment. I'm not entirely sure that it can be just bad or just good, though.

[Right now it's fine, the sun sets early and she doesn't have to leave until around five, at the absolute latest.] Ada taught me about meditation and that was really cool, and Emily has great pot. [Was she not supposed to mention that? Who knows.] Tom's really great, too, and Sullivan and Octavio are hilarious. I love those weirdoes.

[And she means that to such an extent that she can't help smiling.]

[ That smile. That smile really does warm his heart. He hums, and then throws out another somewhat odd question into the ether, though the thread that connects this one is at least real ]

I've always wondered if Ada and Emily's methods for relaxation would be complementary or in conflict with each other.

It's sort of a conflict, one of them's all about centering yourself and trying to find inner serenity. The other option is just smoking pot, which is decidedly less artful, but you've got to live a little every once in a while.

[.... What'd Yamato be like if he was high. Or Junko or Koji. Or even their parents. Man, it's a crazy thought.]

I don't think anything else encapsulates them so well, one chick is incredibly serious for valid reasons and the other is relaxed and passionate for equally valid reasons. They communicate the same thing through very different methods.

[And also.] There's a lot of women in this house.

Historically, there's been more men in it though. Even with the new Veronica, it's still got us outnumbering women. [ Oh! ] With you, the numbers actually even out.

[ If she's accepted. Which even if that implies she is, he didn't actually, actually confirm yet. ... Masaomi has no idea if his kids have been high before (Koji has tho) ]

Huh.

[She doesn't take it as a sign that she's been accepted, though it'd be nice if it was just that simple. Audrey is a little quiet after that, and she looks outside, too.] You didn't even ask why I was dressed like this, y'know. So now I just have to go and tell you, which is incredibly lame.

[Thanks, Masaomi. You're making her less cool.] Today is my parents' anniversary.

[ . . . Oh. His bad. ]

You're right, I should have asked that. My bad.

[ And... ] For what it counts, you do look beautiful.

[When a woman asks him if her butt looks big in a dress he always gives the answer that isn't entirely bad, but also isn't entirely good, doesn't he.]

Your opinion counts, but me looking like I'm about to be dragged into church again is shit. They always insist on going through the motions even though they're both fucking other people.

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