[ It probably should be illegal, for what a sucker he is for it, for how much he squirms under the smile, for how much he is compelled to wrap his arms loosely around her shoulders or take the half-step to get her up against the wall in this corner. The most important woman in his life?
It never was anyone but her. He knows that even know, even if he also tries to pretend, at his better moments, that isn't the case. Really, the trick of Irina, the reason why she's lasted so much longer as a romantic partner than most other people in his life, is because she is at least dimly aware of that. She's aware that she's at best the second best, and she's so busy or damaged or both that she's okay with it, finding benefit out of her relationship with Nathaniel and more than willing to be a comfort and a stabilizing force for him. Nathaniel knows he wouldn't be half as successful as he is - probably not personally and certainly not professionally - without Irina. In his most realistic and down to earth moments he knows that he needs her.
But he'd also push her down the stairs if he got the chance to - ... to something with Nariko.
She'd been the one to reject his advances back when he was fifteen, and she'd been the one who had been fucking everyone that moved instead of paying attention to him (but then, on the other hand, he couldn't blame her. Their mother beat the living shit out of her whenever she was around) when he was twelve. And then --
His memory was hazy, even at the best of times. He didn't know if she took the pill because he asked (realistically, even if he did ask, he was still in the midst of a prolonged borderline suicidal breakdown, so what choice did she have) or because he forced it on her. His memory of that weekend is the blur. What was clear was when she shouted at him, insulted him, and he knew then that he was a freak and they fell out of contact. And yet - here she was. ]
You? I -- I'm glad that I could come home. I've always wanted to come home, be a family again!
[ Sure, there's the complication of that pack and he's not sure how he feels about his brother in law yet but he can be with her and see his nephews and nieces? He's over the moon ]
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It never was anyone but her. He knows that even know, even if he also tries to pretend, at his better moments, that isn't the case. Really, the trick of Irina, the reason why she's lasted so much longer as a romantic partner than most other people in his life, is because she is at least dimly aware of that. She's aware that she's at best the second best, and she's so busy or damaged or both that she's okay with it, finding benefit out of her relationship with Nathaniel and more than willing to be a comfort and a stabilizing force for him. Nathaniel knows he wouldn't be half as successful as he is - probably not personally and certainly not professionally - without Irina. In his most realistic and down to earth moments he knows that he needs her.
But he'd also push her down the stairs if he got the chance to - ... to something with Nariko.
She'd been the one to reject his advances back when he was fifteen, and she'd been the one who had been fucking everyone that moved instead of paying attention to him (but then, on the other hand, he couldn't blame her. Their mother beat the living shit out of her whenever she was around) when he was twelve. And then --
His memory was hazy, even at the best of times. He didn't know if she took the pill because he asked (realistically, even if he did ask, he was still in the midst of a prolonged borderline suicidal breakdown, so what choice did she have) or because he forced it on her. His memory of that weekend is the blur. What was clear was when she shouted at him, insulted him, and he knew then that he was a freak and they fell out of contact. And yet - here she was. ]
You? I -- I'm glad that I could come home. I've always wanted to come home, be a family again!
[ Sure, there's the complication of that pack and he's not sure how he feels about his brother in law yet but he can be with her and see his nephews and nieces? He's over the moon ]