[She doesn't say anything for an unnervingly long time. Nariko remains standing, just blinking at a part of his hardwood flooring.]
I don't ... Remember whether I took it willingly or not. I think ... That I did? Just because of what was going on.
[Because if Nathan was distraught, if he was threatening to hurt himself she'd do anything to stop it. She would do anything to take care of him because that was her literal purpose for not offing herself for years.]
And I don't exactly recall a lot of the details either just - numb, unable to move - [Suffocating.] but I do remember ... Touching you. Or reaching out to you or something.
[In other words, according to her fragmented memory there was a point in the process where Nariko regained some control of herself and she was receptive to whatever he was doing. And in a way she already knows the answer because the drug he'd given her left her unable to move. She could make sounds, of course, but talking or lifting her own arms was out of the question. So the after image that's haunted her since December, of trying to pull him into her on a bed doesn't make sense, if she was completely unwilling.
And the thing is, of course, that she was. That she didn't want to be forced but she did want him
So did I? Was there any point where I didn't just lie there?
no subject
I don't ... Remember whether I took it willingly or not. I think ... That I did? Just because of what was going on.
[Because if Nathan was distraught, if he was threatening to hurt himself she'd do anything to stop it. She would do anything to take care of him because that was her literal purpose for not offing herself for years.]
And I don't exactly recall a lot of the details either just - numb, unable to move - [Suffocating.] but I do remember ... Touching you. Or reaching out to you or something.
[In other words, according to her fragmented memory there was a point in the process where Nariko regained some control of herself and she was receptive to whatever he was doing. And in a way she already knows the answer because the drug he'd given her left her unable to move. She could make sounds, of course, but talking or lifting her own arms was out of the question. So the after image that's haunted her since December, of trying to pull him into her on a bed doesn't make sense, if she was completely unwilling.
And the thing is, of course, that she was. That she didn't want to be forced but she did want him
So did I? Was there any point where I didn't just lie there?